(Now With Extra Arsenic)

The lone flea admits she had a “really good day”; her mood is up, and she doesn’t seem to miss the Goob as much as you would think.
Well, that’s what I’m gathering since there are no tears tonight. She reports he is “Al-ight” and is hanging in there.

(How touching. Somewhere a support group for abandoned emotional-support fleas just felt a cold draft.)

She drops the news that “they had a change in the hearing, so pushed it off a little bit, which is fine. Didn’t feel like going over there anyway.”

(Remember how the old flea bag wanted it to move secretly so there weren’t so many looky-loos like last time? Did she succeed, or is she just yanking our chain like a sadistic puppeteer with a nicotine habit?)

clinker news

She flicks her new trusty lighter, an off-brand in a shade of purple she recently acquired at the local convenience store, and lets everyone know that she had a busy, busy day. “Not really, Gabe, just me,” she says, pulling the attention back to herself with the subtlety of a wrecking ball.

She gurgles out a few tidbits of information that “Someone keeps contacting me that shouldn’t be.”

(In true flea ...

(Sunday Spunday)

The flea bellies up to the crusted mic, turns, and gives a half-moldy smile to her warriors as if they were her bloodline.

Her mood is jubilant and canned, as if she knows the script by heart, because, honey, she wrote it in crayon on a napkin three days ago and has been rehearsing in the shower.

shocking

She reports on her relaxing yet busy day and hints to her listeners that, as usual, a lot is happening behind the scenes in The Villages.

(So basically, just another hint in the wind that smells like flatulence and sour cabbage yet still tastes flat and stale all at the same time. Face it, another typical night in the gar-tudio. The air itself is filing a formal complaint.)

The flea fodder finally gets to the Goober news, and the news is that ‘Goober is great,’ but before she takes a breath, she lets it slip from her cuppa inconsistencies that “They just continued his case, so no hearing on Tuesday.”

(And if you believe that, I have a large island in the south of France I can sell ya for a mere buck or two. Comes with a free bridge and a lifetime supply of “trust me, bro.”)

eye roll

Her co-panelist to start the evening is Kim Chest (sp), who sits quietly off in the corner just ...