Oh, and maybe a game? What games is the flea playing now? Shall we play along?

“Flea Follies”
(an original game not in production by I.W.S.Y.D.H.T )

As we gather around the game board, the flea warms up her dice between her sweaty fingers and palms and gives them the customary blow from her breath that smells tonight like stale Marlboro Reds and boiled cabbage.

puff

As the flea begins her turn, the air in the gar-tudio begins to thicken like mucus in her old flea-craw.

No one really knows the game she has planned, and the Swallowers and Wallowers all gather around the game table and lend the flea their ears.

The flea turns to the left, and her side view profile reveals that the flea seems to be under the weather. Complaints of ‘swollen eyes’ and ‘sinus goo’ begin to spill from her mouth, along with drips of contention and small bits of leftover dinner from a few hours prior.

The flea takes her first roll and lands on the square titled “questionable sources”.
Under rule 17 of 65, page 42, paragraph 2, the Flea must tell us a small ‘ditty or two” about the proprietor of such square.

And, since she landed on this square first, we learn from the Flea that she had wandered over to visit Dicky Lickman and the Vomit-man on Substack.
The flea begins to stutter and fumble over her own words as she begins her ‘storytelling’ adventures.

The words, like I said, tumble and fumble as they fall from her mouth. She starts yammering what she thinks you need to “you know, uh, try to, uh, educate yourself a little bit.”
The flea explains she loves when Lickman “explains his filings”.

The flea elaborates on “some type of disagreement” that the Lickman and the mighty Vomitman are tangled up in, and Fleasa professes, “I am not going to give my opinion on that.”
The flea takes her die, smiles, and adds, “I just thought a little disrespect was happening there and that’s all I will say.”

(Trouble in Paradise?)

gasp

Since the old gal Fleasa is in her gar-tudio alone for the moment, she smiles and declares, “My turn again!” as she warms up her die and rolls with all her might.

The flea stops before moving her game token, the crystal peen, to the next square and adds that she thinks “It sucked for Dicky Lickman because he didn't get to explain about his filings, or was kinds being rushed to go through them, that, that, really sucked because aclotbof people go there to listen to Lickman explain his filings and uh, so, yeah, uhhhh”.

The flea rolled a whopping 6 on her die. She grabs the crystal peen with her sweaty fingers and moves the token ahead 6 spaces.

The flea seems to have landed on the “Unethical Lawyer” square, and, as per the rules read earlier in the game, she needs to comment on the subject.
Of course, the glea starts spilling the tea as soon as possible.

She starts in on her favorite ‘lawyer du jour’ and brings up our beloved Randy.
“The reality is, when you see an unethical behavior, especially by a lawyer, and, uh, it needs to be called out, and this guy Shochet, uh, uh, it constantly does it.”

(“It constantly does it?” What type of flea logic is going on in that grease-filled brain? What is IT, that IT is Doing?)

blink

The flea glances around the room, spots the schwarmy Dickie Lickman, and starts mumbling to him about certifications, emails, and filings. She uses her ‘lawyering’ cap and tells the Dicky Lickman that “it’s just bull-chit and he’s done it to me three times.”

“You know, as a MATTER OF FACT, one time we were talking about one of the filings or whatever, and Shochet one night, and it was like almost midnight, and um, and I’m like, ‘What's this bullchit too?” Like he sits there and says he emailed these files to me and certified that, it, that, and I am like I never received CHIT!”

The flea begins to roll her dice again, but stops mid wind-up and keeps harping about Randy and his reindeer games, err, legal games.
“Within five minutes I had, I had it in my email.”

The Flea begins to snarl and grind her few teeth together as she seethes a new conspiracy. “So, he’s listening”
She tries to conjure up many reasons why Randy would be sending her something at midnight. Her accusations spill out that, in fact, “He’s done it several times.”

(Oh, the horror and shame, was Randy really up past midnight?)

gasp

“And he’s just sneaky, very, very sneaky,” the old bitchin’ flea adds to her Flea fodder as she rolls her next turn.

The flea rolls an eleven and moves her crystal peen token to the red square that reads “Bar Complaints”.

The flea licks her few teeth while gathering her thoughts on what she will say.
Finally, she opens her wide pie hole and announces, “Um, I did file a bar complaint on Shochet, and uh, and it’s funny because he responded to it. He’s like, ‘This is just harassment’.

She raises her voice and soon adds that Shochet is “getting a bunch, in a short period of time. But what, he, you know, doesn’t seem to look at and or probably knows and is just trying to act like a victim.”

Fleasa reaches down, adjusts the atomic wedgie that is bunching between her cheeks and looks the Swallowers dead in the eyes and tells them “Uh, it is simply the fact that when you’re in litigation and you, okay, you send a bar complaint, they win’t really open a case about it, because the litigation is still open and I remember that because I BELIEVE, Deuce sent in a bar complaint about Shochet and the case was still open so the disn’t DO ANYTHING!.”

(Didn't they all take their turns at hurling complaints to the bar?)

eye roll

Fleasa starts licking her lips and mutters out how she loves this new ‘tell-all’ game, as she picks up her sweaty dice and rolls again.

The flea rolls a small one this round and gets to move ahead three spaces.
“One, two, three,” she counts as she moves the crystal token forward.
She frowns, then smiles as she lands on the square labeled “Federal Follies”.

“Well, let me tell you,” the flea says, displaying a sly, scary grin.
Since the Fed 2 was “dismissed” against everyone except “Liarnutz and Schwarmy Dicky Lickman”, that means she is free and clear to file a bar complaint against Randy, since “Her case is closed and dismissed against me and not eight other people or seven other people because I am one of the eight.”

The room grows quiet, the Swallowers and Wallowers pause, raise their arms, and soon begin chanting “Bar complaint, Bar Complaint” over and over as if it were a rally in the 9th inning and all the bases were loaded.

“So, I can file a bar complaint, and THEY WILL open a case,” the flea promises.
“And guess what? THEY DID!” the flea states as a matter of fact.

The Swallowers and Wallowers all start cheering once again, but are soon cut off as Fleasa elaborates further.
“Um, in his response, oh my God, the lies, the chit-chat, I mean, he even tried to prove something by attaching an appeal, right?”

The flea glances at her Kool-Aid followers and smiles at the power she has over their little souls, because they are eatin’ this up as fast as the Flea can dish it up.

The flea starts explaining that she doesn’t know what appeal Randy was talking about, but she soon explains, “I assumed it was something on the appeal with uh, Daniel Owens, and, I’m like reading his response, and obviously I am going to read the exhibits afterward, and uh, I’m thinking, so he won the appeal with Dan Owens. No, he didn’t. We would have heard all about this, right?”

The flea pauses, swallows a hard mucus ball, and continues her turn.
The flea extends her commentary on how she read all the responses, and she suddenly begins laughing, “Oh, my God, this guy’s an idiot.”

The flea digs deep and smiles sweetly as she claims Randy is whining that everyone is harassing him now. “Yeah, uh, BULLCHIT,” the flea says as she slams down her sweaty palm on the edge of the table.

The flea picks up after a few moments and says that she started reading his exhibits, and she noticed that “This appeal is an appeal that has to do with ‘Liarbutz’s’ case and it’s dated August 7th, 2024.”

(The room grows cold as the Swallowers and Wallowers start counting their fingers and toes, trying to figure out the time frame of this date. Why is she mentioning something from 688 days ago?)

blink blink

The flea’s side eye begins to quiver as she explains that even she was confused until she “figured it out that it was about Judge DeThomas (sp) and his recusal.”

The flea scowls from her wrinkled brow, sweat dripping, and she asks the universe, “Why is this even mentioned in my bar complaint?”

Her damp demeanor changes the tone as she whines that “She didn’t say nothing about this. I didn’t even speak about Hale$ or anything that you know, his bad behavior or anything until that fight with Guano, which is August 4th, 2024.”

An audible gasp rang throughout the gar-tudio as everyone seemed to catch their breath at the same time. “And this appeal was three days later. I didn’t even know who Liarnutz was, who the or anything about the case.”

Being now flustered and sweating profusely, the roundish-shaped flea starts groveling further as she states, “I was like finding out like right within that next two weeks of time, you know, I, I, I’m like, WHAT?”
The flea dances around the situation a bit before declaring, “This is BULLCHIT!”

Fleasa picks up the dice, gives them a little shake, and, as they were mid-air, adds, “She actually did a rebuttal to his response.”

The die lands near the edge of the board, but no one moves as the flea is still yammering about her legal expertise and finesse. “And let me tell you, something guys. It is long. Like 20 pages”

yowsers

Fleasa spins in her chair, looks the Swallowres and Wallowers dead in the eyes, and growls deep from her bowels, “And I went about, I went after everything he said. I showed all the proof. Um, you know, when you’re a lawyer, and you have clients, and you know they’re, they’re constantly committing, you know, bad behavior like harassment and things like that, and YOU know about it, you’re supposed to walk away pretty much when you, when you know that it’s criminal behavior.”

Scanning the room once again, the flouncy flea begins to remind her followers that “Harassment is criminal behavior, you know, and uh, he’s just unethical and he tries to explain it away. So what I did, I took a whole bunch of videos of his clients and I wrote up the transcripts for it and uh, I sent the transcripts in.”

(Sounds like she is the harasser if you ask me...)

blink blink

The flea starts rubbing the dice as if they were her one and only good luck charm, over and over, in her sweaty palms as she continued her anti-Randy speech.
“And I can tell you right now, that’s some nasty CHIT. It’s some nasty stuff, and I don’t think the Bar is going to appreciate that. So, there’s transcripts, uh, of his clients, of HIM with Larry Foreman (DUI+ Guy), uh, cuz Larry Foreman was a client of his and Shochet, his partner, and uh, Mark Feathers (15 MINUTES!), were all on a live together, laughing, (the horror), drinking (they were not) and some doing some more than that.”

Hold on there, Flea-Ho from Hell... Are you accusing them of drinking AND ‘other stuff’ like ‘rugs’? RUGS?

(I mean, it’s bad enough that they were laughing, but to accuse them of such bad behavior...I am shocked. But, meh, not really, nothing shocks me anymore with the Flea Co.)

eye roll

Frightful Fleasa begins realizing she just accused a “bench of lawyers” of being drunk and rugged, so she issues a sort of explanation that went like this: “Um, it definitely appears that way anyway.”

Her gameplay has all but stopped now. Her eyes begin to dart back and forth, she begins to mutter, “Um, and, and, like totally going off on uh, Judge DeThomases before he was recused. Uh, just like some crazy chit, and this guy is just so unethical.”

Fleasa lets everyone know “that a whole bunch of stuff” went over to the Florida Bar’s desk.

The Flea says she will read the whole 20-page rebuttal, but her eyes are really swollen, dry, and itchy. She assumes she has a ‘sinus cold’ or something. She gives a big old sniff from her nose like she was Gabe in front of a line.
She admits she won't be able to read the “whole thing” and “it is 20 pages.”

womp womp

The flea picks up the dice, looks at them with confusion, and manages to roll a double six. She picks up her crystal peen and moves forward twelve large spaces and lands on the square titled “Spill it Again, Sam”

After telling her listeners and followers that she is real damn proud of herself for writing such a ‘wonderous’ complaint to the bar she makes sure they realize that “Uh, there’s several cases actually open and uh, usually, uh, from what I understand, the Bar doesn’t necessarily open cases, uh, unless they deem, you know, deem them to be worthy and there’s open cases now.”

The Fleasa laughs a little, mucused-filled giggle and adds, “There are a lot of bar complaints going on right now.”
Her beady, swollen eyes get beadier and begin to itch as she starts in about the DUI+ Guy and his bag full of bar complaints, “Uh, cuz there are bar complaints against Larry Foreman too.”

The flea begins summarizing what Shochet and friends have been “pulling off’ for the last few years.

I glance at my clock, feel my caffeine meter begin to heat up, and decide to pull my sister’s ultimate move in any board game, so I walk up to the flea, lean real close, grab the edge of the board, and flip it to ‘kingdom come’.

The pieces fly here, and there, and with some even landing in the Loofah Mobile’s ™ front seat.
I smile as I call it a day and start walking off. I mutter to myself, “Not today, Satan Fleasa, not today.”

Toodles Poodles ❤️
14:07/2:23:28

Later, Dicky Lickman joins the Fleas’ Follies and reads his recent filing.

ugh